Gasping for breath
Trying not to cry myself to death
But the silence screams louder than my lungs can take
Each heartbeat pounding
I clutch my chest like it's about to cave
Wading knee deep through the echoes of bravery
But im not brave
Im just practiced
My smile stitched on like a survival tactic
Laugh in the daylight
Break in the dark
Tell everyone I'm fine when im falling apart
There is a war in my throat
I can't seem to swallow
My tears dry before they fall
"Hey, how are you?"
"Im fine"
Like I rehearsed it
Like sufferings a script
And im trying to make it perfect
Sometimes i scream into pillows like they are lifeboats
Trying not to drown the things I don't say
Trying not to let the weight of yesterday
Convince me that tomorrow isn't worth staying for
Because some nights feel like eternity
I am just a ghost
Trapped in my skin
Breathing but barely
Living but rarely
Smiling for the world but inside is scary
Still here I stand
With shaking knees and stubborn hope
Threading every cracked breath into rope
To climb
To fight
To write my way out
Of this night
Because tomorrow will be full of light.